i need to get out of utah. i hate driving around here, i hate this place. there are too many memories, reminders, regrets. everything reminds me of things i've been trying so hard to forget.
the mountains are beautiful and sunset is magnificent but even the beauty here makes me ache with sadness. it reminds me, too.
this place is too familiar to me, familiar like an unpleasant dream.
the culture here is frustrating. i don't know how to figure things out when things are cloudy with fake religion, naive belief, and hostile judgement from both the faithful and the unbelieving. i can't see clearly.
i feel so distant from the people here, i don't like the dating culture, the academic culture, the pressure and the competition. i'm tired of the college town life. i've lived here for 4.5 years and i'm tired of it. i don't fit in here. i don't belong here.
i want to move somewhere new, somewhere i don't have any memories or associations with, somewhere beautiful, somewhere that i can start over. i need to begin my life, instead of just continue to plod along, somewhere in between merely functioning and successfully and happily thriving. i've thought about my reasons for moving and have decided that i'm not trying to escape, i just want to be somewhere where i can actually live.
2 comments:
but if you leave we wont see each other as often :(
go! Make your way! (note that I am crying my eyes out even thinking about not seeing you so much) you can figure you out and know what you are about without the static. How about moving to mapleton? Lol. I know I know it's still utah. Keep me in ur plan loop k? Loves, m.e. -a
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