beginning to blog again + taco bell = 5am

the plan was to go to sleep at 10.

i lost my keys, successfully locking myself out of my apartment.

found keys.

went to sleep at 11 instead, but

woke up at 1:30

still can't sleep. it's 5 freaking o-clock in the morning.

boo.

i decided to waste time online.

i just realized i could have spent the past 3.5 hours actually doing something productive, like writing an essay for a test i have on wednesday but of course i didn't even think about it. at this point i'd rather smash my teeth with a hammer.

i have decided to start blogging again. i have my photo blog and now am updating my personal blog!

since i'm up, i'll tell you a pointless story. it's called "The Drive Home From Taco Bell."

"The Drive Home From Taco Bell"

i went to Taco Bell last week and ordered a crunchy taco. the anticipation was too great- i started eating it in the car. eating in the car should be illegal. not because it turns me into a hazard but because it turns me into a public disgrace. it usually takes me longer to clean myself up afterward than to eat the darn thing in the first place. anyway, as i was driving and eating, a bit of shell went down my throat before i could chew it because a girl cut me off and therefore distracted me. i was so annoyed that i tried to yell at her inside my car, and then i realized that i could not do that because i had taco shell logged in my esophagus. oh the agony!!! not only was i mad, but i had a knife working it's way towards my stomach. when i finally got home, people walked in front of the entrance to my parking lot and were there just long enough for me to miss the light. by the time i parked, the taco shell bit had finally worked it's way to my digestive system leaving the inside of my throat gashed and bleeding i'm sure.

The End.

BYU vs. WYO

yesterday i went to a women's soccer game: BYU (go cougs!) vs. WYOMING. It was glorious!!! i have two soccer guru cousins, auna and shalayne. auna plays for BYU, shalayne plays for wyoming. yesterday, halloween, was a face off between the teams. BYU won 2-0. it was so much fun because a ton of family (everyone who could make it) came to the game. there were probably more than 30 janis fans. we yelled SO loud and cheered so much!!! so much support. it was AWESOME!!! i love my family:) anyway i was sitting next to my cousin daniel and we were trying to come up with a cheer that was supportive of both but without taking sides. we finally decided that when something good happened we would yell "yeeeeeeoooooo" and if something bad happened we would yell "neeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh" (combinations of "yes" and "no") because no matter what happened it was both good and bad- it's tough work supporting both teams;) so that is the description of what is happening in this picture. by the way, this was taken with my cell phone. thus the pixelation and poor quality.

VIDEO!!!!!!!

i am going to try something new: video blogging!!! the end of this first video amuses me which is why i'm sharing. i would like to be a more active blogger, i am stale and boring right now so i'll end with this thought:

*UPDATE: maybe it's just blogger but uploading videos takes FOREVER!!!!!!!!! i am already deterred from this plan. i am considering creating a wordpress blog. that could be better.

**UPDATE again: youtube is much better than blogger. yay!

Chicken Dinner

Tonight I decided to make this dinner. I recently discovered the convenience of frozen dinners- it's the convenience of fast food without the cost or travel. Lovely, completely. Anyway, I didn't realize these chicken breasts weren't cooked when I bought them, which was disappointing but not a deal breaker. First of all, I bought this dinner because it looks amazingly delicious and since I didn't know you couldn't throw it in the microwave, I was very convinced at the good decision to purchase said food item. Well, of course looks can be deceiving, even in marketing (especially in marketing). This said, although I wasn't expecting more, I was impressed at what a different product this turned out to be. This is what it looked like when I was cooking it (this is why they don't pre-cook it, because nobody wants to pull this out of a freezer baggy):





And this is what it looked like on my plate (I should have used a red one and replicated the box picture, but you get the idea):



It was still good, but I wish I could get over the eternal disappointment of not honestly getting what I "believe" I'm buying.

That's all I have for now. I'm off to drive my little .. steal .. of a car to a focus study research project that is paying me $50 to write some letters to Congressmen. You know, I've been trying to think of a name for my car. Maybe I'll call it Jewel because it really has been such a gem. Fitting.

quotes for a book someday

"now i'm exhausted and all those thoughts and words seem to have evaporated. is this what happens? is this growing up? i don't want to sacrifice my creativity to become another mindless cog in our society.

i always look at other people and wonder what they're thinking: if they're thinking about the same stuff as me, or if they're really just wondering what to make for dinner.
i don't want to end up like that, i don't want to drown." - M.

"I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo." - The Bell Jar

"I liked looking on at other people in crucial situations. If there was a road accident or a street fight or a baby pickled in a laboratory jar for me to look at, I'd stop and look so hard I never forgot it.
I certainly learned a lot of things I never would have learned otherwise this way, and even when they surprised me or made me sick I never let on, but pretended that's the way I knew things were all the time." - The Bell Jar

11:11

Today is November 11th. 11/11/08.

today may be significant.

this morning when i realized the date, i thought "this should be a good day"

things that have happened so far today:

- my car won't start
- i am all alone because my friends have lives and i am a hermit
- i hurt my wrist and right ankle while pounding on my car in a rage

serves me right for having thought that possibly the universe would work in my favor for a day.

tonight i will visit my friend ashley.
i will be having dinner with hannah.
maybe i will write letters to all of those who deserve letters: jay, logan, trevor, andrew, james, mom, and bailey.
or maybe i will watch TV episodes on netflix.
or maybe i will read a book.

i also have the option of walking around and enjoying the blessing of legs which i have to use by default, since my stupid car is sitting uselessly in the parking lot taking up space and mocking me.

i have decided that my resolution for next year is to not be taken advantage of, a theme in my life that is so pathetically consistent. and also, not to blog when i'm upset.

this is my 1991 toyota celica. my favorite thing is the headlights because they pop up. i need to name it even though it doesn't deserve a name, useless idiot rip-off.

i have succumbed to the lure of blogging

when i write i feel very un-profound. not that my aim in writing is to be profound, but the lack of impact and importance, the absence of meaning, irritates me.

unfortunately i have an innate desire to express myself with words, which i have tried to stifle with memories of failure. tonight i give in.

writing is a way to express your thoughts, get them out of your head into the world to be judged and absorbed, making the writer vulnerable but present.
today is an important day in my life for 3 reasons, one is personal, one is seasonal, and one is national.

THREE GOOD REASONS TO BEGIN TO BLOG AGAIN:

1. i am happy. this is a remarkable thing in deed.
2. today was the first snowfall of winter. i have very mixed feelings about this, which i will discuss later.
3. our country has chosen it's new leader, and although i didn't educate myself thoroughly enough to judge or debate my opinions (the few i have), i did feel rather sick last night watching the results.

DISCUSSION OF SAID THREE REASONS:

there are uncomfortable times in life when you feel as though you are about to sneeze. it is unpleasant, urgent, top priority, and very distracting. i compare my life to this type of moment, although i now have the relief of actually having sneezed and now getting on with my day. i am happy, for the moment, in a slow way. i have a job. i do not have a schedule. i have reduced my responsibilities to the absolute necessary and minimal, and i feel fine. i do not dread the next day, like i have in the past. this is a feat, seeing that even when a day is not so bad, or the next after that, if there is a bad day looming in the future it is difficult to forget it and keep the present day a happy one. i don't have any loomers at the moment, and i am happy.

a happy thing is my car. it is legally registered now, functioning, and the heater works. i have also learned to drive it thanks to my brilliant and eternally optimistic cousin. the only sad thing about the whole deal is that the steering wheel was replaced upside-down when they replaced the ignition right before i bought it. it will cost me $100 for the mechanic to fix it, so for the moment i drive with it upside down. i have to twist my neck slightly to see my dashboard while i drive, but it is still operating which is an improvement of last week.

the snow was pretty. i love it when snow falls. i never get tired of that. it's only afterward that bothers me, the mud and slush and ugly piles of ice all of the city that create hazards and eyesores. i don't even mind the cold when there is a good snowfall from a gray sky. i don't like it when there is a blue sky and snow on the ground. it's like wearing a dark brown shirt with black pants. some people may not mind, but in my mind it clashes unforgivably.

last night. the election.
yesterday i heard a joke:
"Obama is most definitely going to win- the bible says that the world will end in abomination. Obama Nation."

Ha ha?