my absence has been a combination of an unusual increase of activity in my life (thus, less blogging time), a lack of appropriate content, and laziness. occasionally as i'm going about my day something random will trigger me to start composing a blog post in my head, but obviously they haven't actually materialized for a while. it happened tonight and i'm deciding to act on it. hooray! the long silence is over! heather lorraine janis is back in the personal blogging arena, this announcement is for those who care. not that i'm blogging for an audience, but since i sort of have one, here ya go.
what prompted this post? well, over the past 2 days i purchased 3 pairs of jeans: 1 pant, 2 capri. this is so significant it should shame me to tears. i have owned 1 pair for the past year, which i outgrew months ago.
background: until recently, on any given day you could expect with certainty that the event of me getting dressed would consist in exchanging pjs for sweats. story to back this up: after 1 month of knowing me, my new friend cosette gave me a new pair of sweats for my birthday, knowing i would be ecstatic. success.
wearing sweats has sadly become my trademark. an aunt has referred to my sweats as my "uniform" for more than 2 years. i really haven't had a need for normal clothes. in general over the past few years i've worked from home, i've been in and out of school, and i've been inappropriately anti social for my age. i really haven't had a reason to have a nicely stocked closet. buying new clothes consisted of new tank tops and sweats to lounge in when the old ones got tired.
anyways, the past couple of months i've been going out with friends and generally participating in life more normally. i discovered that this new lifestyle requires wearing something other than sweats 24/7, and as a result i've been squeezing my 2 sizes larger butt into the sole pair of jeans i own, and been absolutely miserable.
nearly every female in this country can relate to this next topic, which the discussion of my sweats habit leads us to: weight and shopping. see, i've put off buying new pants for months because (since we're being openly honest here) i'm not exactly happy with my body. shopping is depressing. the subconscious commentary during shopping consists of evaluating the clothes for the body i would LIKE to have, and promise to have before i put myself through another clothing expedition. then, since it's been decided that i WILL be a different size in the future, buying new clothes seems pointless because they won't fit in 2 months and wasting money like that is ridiculous. am i alone in this experience, ladies?
(side note, it's pretty much a given that no matter what size, weight, or shape a lady is at any point in her life, she will find it hard to be content. the causes for this are unimportant for this particular post. it's only looking back on the way her body was in the past (at which point she was most likely also unhappy) that she believes she was in an acceptable place physically.)
desperation for something decent and socially acceptable to wear out of the house builds until it becomes necessary for me to attempt a clothing purchase, so reluctantly i try every few months. obviously i have failed several times, since i've worn the one pair of too-small jeans for over a year.
let me tell you, wearing too-small jeans for any period of time is not good for the ole self esteem.
this is the part where i tell you about how thanks to not shopping alone, i found a pair of amazing jeans and my life has been dramatically changed for the better. i didn't think it would be possible to look good in pants for at least 20 pounds (which holds true for most woman at any weight or size). this is a lie! it's possible to look good just where you are, you just have to find clothes that fit and make the body you have look good. whew.
just so y'all know, i will not be hiding in sweats any longer! yeah, i would be happy if i lost some weight (who wouldn't be), but it doesn't seem so urgent now that i can look decent going out in normal clothes. i'm undecided about whether this loss of interest in shaping up is a good or a bad thing....
i feel the need to say "the end" now, since this blog post is unnecessarily long. whatever!
OH, really quick, i'm currently listening to "swimming" by florence and the machine (thanks derek) and have to make the comment that i really love the violins from 2:04-2:12.
AHH! i haven't blogged in so long! i forgot i like to do this!
since posts are naked without photos, here is one i took today of a tattoo i drew on friend's leg:
it turned out pretty sweet, eh? i've found a new career path! ;)
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