Lyrics

I am so confused about life right now, and I am tired of feeling alone. I feel so far away from people even when I'm surrounded by people.. Even when they love me.


Lyrics from 2 songs are running through my mind:
"should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements, even they lead nowhere.." -Adele

"Even though I hate to admit it
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
Christian folks say I should quit it
I just smile and say, "God bless"

'Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine
I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He'd understand a heart like mine"
- Miranda Lambert

zen

i bought a yoga mat on friday:

yoga is so awesome. i do meditations in the morning too. i have been really turning inward and trying to be more authentic, and it feels amazing. i pull an angel card every day (somehow it always is PERFECT), and then i read a meditation from this book called "the book of awakening" before journaling about it.

i start and end my yoga with a 10 minute meditation with 20-40 minutes in between of yoga. i feel like i'm really starting to connect with myself and find peace.

looking ahead

today i realized i'm a week away from starting my 4th month of treatment. i'm freaking out a bit, i have no idea what i'm going to do when i'm out. recovery is so intense but i'm so happy here.

i was pretty hopeless when i got here and pretty much was at the end of the road. i think that's what scares me the most about leaving- treatment was the only thing i could see in my future and now it's almost in the past.

when i get out i'll probably start a new blog.